Everything Else In Between. This blog contains mature content, 18 & older.

As time went on, he treated me worse than I could ever expect. I was numb to everything, numb to his touch, numb to his words, even numb to the sight of him walking into the room. He’d call me at home and act so sweet on the phone, telling me how sorry he was for the last time and how he was in a bad mood because his parents didn’t want us to be together yada yada yada. I forgave him everytime, so young, so naive. After I’d give in and go see him, he’d be sweet until he wanted sex or a blowjob or even a kiss. Z would say “hey you, pig! get over here and worship me. If it weren’t for me, no one would know you”. I’d do what he said because I didn’t know any better. He’d make me do things to his friends so they’d know what it was like to be with a worthless animal, I’d never known how horrible life could be until he was around. But he loved me and he wanted me to become more experienced if we were going to be together for life. I was only 13, I wasn’t thinking about my future, he was “15″ and had it all planned out.

They’d take me to parties where everywhere you looked was a different kind of drug or alcohol. They’d encourage me to enjoy myself while they mingled with others. I’d sit there sipping my beer, hoping that no one would come talk to me so he couldn’t get mad for me “flirting” or being too nice. F came to talk to me and see how I was enjoying the party. We sat outside while I had a smoke and he’d tell me jokes. I was surprised how many people were doing this at 3 in the afternoon on a saturday, all I could do was just sit back on the step and enjoy a normal person’s company. Z came rushing out of the house and pulled F aside. Z was screaming at him for taking me out of the house without his permission. F told him I wanted a smoke and that he’d come outside to join me so I wouldn’t feel lonely. Z grabbed me by the face and told me to never leave his sight while he was around ever again. When I think about it, I can still feel his fingers on my jaw. I hated looking up at his stunning blue eyes and that bleach blond hair, no matter how scared I was of him or how upset he was at what I had done, I always melted when I looked into his eyes. He waited until I finished my smoke then he took me into the house. He had a big grin on his face while he pushed me up the stairs, I could see everyone watching from downstairs. Suddenly, the music got louder and people were rushing to get down the stairs as we went up. I remember the hallway, it went straight then off to the right. At the end of the hall was a door to a balcony and he slammed open the door right before that. He pushed me in and slammed the door shut. It looked like it could have been his room, nudie pics of women on the walls, alcohol advertisements all over the place, a big pot leaf flag on the window, a cracked mirror above a dresser with profanities written on each big piece. He told me to keep my mouth shut, then he pushed me on the bed. With his hand over my mouth he whispered in my ear….”you make a sound and anyone were to come up here, I’ll kill you with my bare hands”